Heart
by Calencoireiel
Summary: One-shot. 1 2 1, 3x4x3 implied. Revised re-post. Heero disappears after the war and no one hears from him for years. How will Duo pull through without him? Rating to be safe. Warnings: yaoi, angst.


This was a story I wrote years ago and did a little editting to. Hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own anything... darn

Warnings: No EW, 1+2+1, 2x1, 3x4x3 implied, yaoi, angst, sap, suggestion of suicide, slight language

Heart

It was just after Heero had rescued him from that awful OZ cell. He'd been captured, beaten, and practically unconscious when Heero had come for him. It had been hard to get out, especially for Heero, who was all but carrying him, but they made it to the safe house where he had promptly passed out. Heero had to carry him in and take care of all his wounds. He owed Heero big time.

And that was what brought Duo here, to Heero's closed door. He had to thank him, had to tell him so much... Duo shook his head and forced himself to knock.

A gruff, "Come in," met Duo's ears.

He did. Heero sat on his small bed with his laptop, typing away. He closed it when Duo took a seat next to him.

"Oi, Heero. Arigato."

"Nani?"

"For, ya know, saving me earlier and stuff..."

Heero raised his eyebrows slightly.

"I mean, I didn't think that you would come for me."

Heero gave him a blank look, but in his eyes, Duo saw a hint of confusion.

"I was hoping you would come though... so, I wanted to thank you."

"Doushite?"

"Because, it means a lot to me that you rescued me and patched me up."

Heero looked even more confused. Duo smiled a little more.

"I mean, I... I really, well..." he took a deep breath. "I like you... a lot."

"What do you mean?"

"Just, I like to be near you and... I like to talk to you, and I like to hear your voice, ya know? You're my friend and everything, but I like you as more than that."

Heero just stared at him, understanding, but unsure of how to respond.

"Heero, why don't you say something? Anything?"

When Heero didn't answer for the next couple of minutes, Duo felt embarrassed and foolish. Anger flared to life in his violet eyes.

"Fuck you, Heero! Here I am opening my heart to you and you don't even blink!" He stood up and made for the door, seething. He was stopped by a hand around his upper arm.

"Damn it Heero! Let go!" he growled, struggling. The grip on his arm only tightened.

Then Heero spun Duo around to face him and pressed their lips together.

Duo's anger vanished and he put his arms around Heero as he returned the kiss.

Later...

"Heero?" Duo poked his head into Heero's room. "Can I come in?"

"Hn."

Duo smiled and shut the door behind him.

They knew the war would end soon, there wasn't much left to do. All of them were fairly sure that the next mission would be their last, or pretty close anyway. Duo knew it would be tough and he felt that he needed to tell Heero how much he loved him. [1]

Heero turned his swivel-chair to face him.

Duo stopped in front of him and, without a word, reached behind his neck to release the catch on his cross necklace.

"I want you to have this," Duo said, placing the necklace in Heero's hand.

Heero looked at it and back to Duo, who smiled at Heero's curious gaze.

"It's to show that I love you... as long as you carry this with you, you carry my heart." Duo bent down to kiss Heero before he walked out of the room.

Heero stared at the closed door with Duo's heart clutched tightly in his hand. [2]

Duo looked around his new apartment, smiling. Nice, very nice.

He threw down his bags and jumped face down onto the bed with a loud sigh.

"Man, I'm beat," he said to himself. College started tomorrow, so he had been busy making sure that he had everything he needed.

After the war, Duo decided to go to college; maybe he could find something to do with himself for the rest of his life. Trowa and Quatre, of course, had gone off together, and Wufei joined the Preventers. [3] As for Heero-

The phone rang. Duo groaned and hauled himself up to answer it. "Moshi moshi?"

"Konnichiwa Duo," Quatre's voice came through as his image appeared on the screen.

"Hey Qu-man," Duo smiled at his friend.

"All settled I hope?" Quatre asked with one of his gentle smiles.

"Yeah, I start tomorrow." Quatre nodded. There was an awkward pause. Duo knew something was on his friend's mind.

"Anou- has he contacted you yet?"

He of course meaning Heero...

"Iie. Demo, I'm sure he will. He just needs some time," Duo answered confidently.

Quatre gave a small, hesitant smile that didn't reach his eyes, but nodded.

"All right. Keep in touch Duo."

"Same goes for you, Quatre."

"Ja ne."

"Ja."

Heero had disappeared after the war, and the others could not find a single trace of him or his whereabouts. Duo figured that he just needed time to sort out what to do in peaceful times. He was very confident that Heero would return home, to his friends, to him...

It was one year today. One year ago that Heero left. A year ago, to the date, that Heero had walked out of his life.

Duo sighed as he walked back to his apartment in the rain. It tore his heart that Heero wasn't back yet. He slumped further into his depression.

Quatre started visiting more often, sometimes bringing Trowa along. Quatre never said anything, but Duo knew it was because Heero still hadn't contacted anyone. He also knew that Duo had fallen into a depressed state, and wanted to make sure he would be alright.

Never-the-less, Duo enjoyed Quatre's (and occasionally Trowa's) company. It gave him a chance to smile and be happy. He still had hope that Heero would return.

Two years. Two agonizing, painful years... it was almost unbearable. Duo had lost his hope by now... it had been so long. He felt as if his heart were breaking. And it was raining again, as if his heart were crying, he thought.

He quit his job at the salvage yard today because looking at all those machine parts and remembering hurt too much.

Quatre's visits became much more frequent, and Trowa always came with him now.

And once, not long after the two year "anniversary," Duo was surprised to open his door to Wufei. After that, Wufei visited too.

They were worried about him, Duo knew it, but he didn't care. He also knew how much it hurt his friends when they couldn't even get him to smile.

Three years... Duo couldn't stand it.

I bet he threw away that necklace, threw away my heart, by now, Duo thought bitterly.

He looked at himself in the mirror. He was a wreck. He looked away.

He could faintly hear the rain falling outside, tapping the roof and the windows.

He looked back to the mirror and then down to the knife he held in his hand. He studied it, feeling weak and empty, and glanced back at his reflection.

Tears spilled out onto his cheeks for the first time since Sister Helen died.

He looked back down and hurled the knife into the sink, running to his room. He threw himself onto the bed and cried himself to sleep with a broken heart.

He woke up and looked at the clock. Midnight.

The light still shinning out of the bathroom glinted on something that lay on Duo's bedside table. He picked it up and gasped.

It was the cross necklace that he had given Heero so long ago...

Strong arms wrapped around him from behind.

"Duo. Gomen nasai. Can you ever forgive me?" Heero's voice asked quietly.

Duo turned and sobbed into Heero's arms. It had seemed so long ago... too long since he saw him last.

The rain was letting up as Duo continued to cry into Heero's shirt. He couldn't believe he was really here, couldn't believe it...

After a moment, a thought occurred to him through his clouded mind. What if Heero wasn't staying, but saying good-bye? Returning the necklace? It didn't make sense, but Duo couldn't help thinking it. Why would he have stayed away so long? Duo stiffened in his love's arms.

"Duo?"

"H-Heero, are you going to, to stay?"

"Why else would I be here, baka?" Heero asked affectionately. "Aishiteru, Duo. I would like to stay, if you'll have me." Heero's voice was quiet and unsure.

Duo looked up at Heero and was surprised to find tears on his cheeks as well. He relaxed and returned Heero's embrace.

"You forget, Heero. Do you remember what I told you?" Duo asked quietly, closing the necklace in Heero's hand. "'You carry my heart'"

~Owari

Notes:

[1] I haven't seen the last episodes of the series, so I don't actually know how it ends, so I kinda made it up... oh well!

[2] Ah! Feel the cheesiness!

[3] Uh... wasn't the Preventers only after EW? So if there is no EW, why is it here? I have no idea...

Also, for those of you who weren't sure about the Japanese:

Arigato - Thank you

Nani - What

Doushite - Why

Moshi Moshi - Hello (when answering the phone)

Konichiwa - Hello (I think most anime fans know this one at least...)

Anou - Umm (pretty much...)

Iie - No

Demo - But

Ja ne (Ja) - Bye

Gomen nasai - I'm sorry

Baka - Idiot

Aishiteru - I love you

Owari - End

More Notes:

These are old reviews from before I revised. Some were loyal readers so I wanted to keep them… Hope you will forgive my sentimentality…

13BlackCats  
>2004-03-23 . chapter 1<p>

Hey again! I told you I'd read more! That was so sad! Shame on Heero-kun for staying away for so long XP Oh well - He's back! And he's staying! How kawaii! That part with the knife kinda scared me a little bit - I was really relieved when he threw it down... Yeesh... Anyway - I looked at all your stories and I think I'm going to read them all except that "Rose Thorns" (or whatever ^_^;;) Because I have no clue what Labyrinth is...  
>+| 13BlackCats |+<p>

summercloud

2003-08-21 . chapter 1

foo to the evil reviewer! n besides, its FUN to insert random japanese words in fics. heck, i do it in everyday life.

Labyris

2003-07-09 . chapter 1

That was sweet.I enjoyed this little ficlet.

Annie Maxwell

2003-05-26 . chapter 1

OOh, awesome. VEry sweet, I liked it alot. (doushite is spelled correctly) I like how you didn't go deep into everyone's thoughts. It really worked with the story. This is so sweet! *cries* Totemo kawaii desu!


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